Downs and ups

Okay, so I owe an update. (Yes, in a huge way!)

The thing is, that I was a bit grumpy for about three weeks, at trapeze, and in life in general... I think the stars were misaligned, or something of the sort, because I did not feel like being at all social, (although I certainly made repeated efforts), my flying was off, etc. I guess it was a bit of a funk -- but I don't remember when I've had one that has affected all aspects of my life across the board.

And of course, although it would probably be useful to me to have blogged about the last month's flying travails, if for no other reason than to read the next time I hit a slump, well, let's be honest, who enjoys writing about their failures (at least while in their midst?) It is far, far more gratifying to blog about one's successes, and have people think that I'm an incredible flyer. It's also incredibly hard to record the constant flubs, and so I had stopped bringing my camera around with me. (Which means, of course, no vids. Sorry)

So, obviously the slump is (hopefully!) over -- and now that it is, I feel that in all fairness, I need to write a little about it, just so that when if happens to other people they aren't too shaken, but realize it's a natural part of one's progression.

So last I wrote, I think I was talking about how the crew had allowed me to take the planche out of lines. The next step, was completing a return out of lines, and so I started doing my half turns out, so that I'd be able to safely return to the return bar and not land wrong in the mat. I think the pressure of the possibility of appearing in the halloween show if I managed to complete a round trip might have been too much for me, because from class to class I was getting progressively worse. First I lost the turn off the catcher, then the seven, the planche disappeared for a while, or at least the "hep" did, and finally, last week, I couldn't do the half turn -- landed wrong and hurt my ankle. It was all the more frusturating, because I felt that I was stronger, swinging higher, getting into the uprise more easily, etc., but I was quite simply, and annoyingly, psyching myself out. And there was nothing I could do to stop it. Doing the tricks wasn't working, breaking them down wasn't working. Finally I decided to go back in lines, and really, that wasn't working either.

Then, this past weekend, the halloween show came and went. I think that was at least half of the equation.

On Sunday morning, after only 4 hours sleep, I was back. Mostly working uprises and the mod (including some stealth stuff that I'm not ready to talk about) but cleanly, and well, and happily. Yesterday, I decided that I was emotionally ready to tackle the half turn -- apparently not out of lines, since I wouldn't hep off the bar, but then managed to throw it across twice to Dino, making the return once! Then, I decided to focus on my mod a bit. After some back and forth about whether it was ready to come out (more on that in a later entry!), I decided that my hands were feeling a little achey, and might be better to leave it for another day. So instead, I threw my planche to Manny, and the second time up, decided that I was ready for Suz to throw the return bar, and managed to return!! The incredible thing was not getting the return bar, really, but how effortless it was. I didn't fel like I was making any sort of crazy effort, but there it was. I guess it goes back to what the instructors have been saying all along -- if you stay tight and have your timing right, that's most of the battle.

Anyway, I'm glad that all the noise in my head has sorted itself out, even though I can't take any credit for it, and I hope that this upswing will stay around for a while, since I have a lot more to accomplish before hitting another plateau!