Travel, Race and Illness, Oh My!

It’s been a while since I’ve updated this space on what’s been going on.  While I’d like to claim that it has been so long only because I’ve been training so rigorously for Ironman, the truth is, there have been a host of reasons for not checking in.

After the girls got out of school in June, we took a week off and went out west for a camping trip at Bryce, Zion, and the Grand Canyon led by my favorite active travel company, Backroads.  Once again, they did not disappoint.  We had a great group of families, with plenty of kids for my girls to hang out with.  And the landscape was unbelievable.  Bryce in particular.  I felt as if we had landed on Mars.  Between the red-orangey color of the rock, the hoodoos that formed bears, queens, cats and other imagined creatures, and the intense heat, it definitely felt like we were on another planet.  

Fortunately that week was an RRR training week – low mileage, which translated to high-ish Backroads mileage allowed me to keep, for the most part to my training plan while still enjoying quality vacation time with the kids.  And the higher elevation – starting out at the 8000’ mark, definitely made it feel like the hikes and bikes were giving me a workout.

There was even a day, climbing to Angel’s Landing in Zion National Park, where the mental fortitude I had to show to make it to the top, acted as excellent mental training for Ironman.  What many people might not know is that even though I’ve been doing flying trapeze for several years, I have a pretty big fear of heights.  Each new rig is an adjustment, and little changes throw me off, have me gripping onto the riser for dear life etc.  

Still, I was completely gung ho about climbing to Angel’s Landing.  The view from up there was supposed to be amazing.  And I knew that physically I was in good shape, and there was no reason for that hike not to be like any other.  Granted it’s higher, but so what? 

After hiking up to Scout’s Landing via a series of switchbacks, which were a little challenging but mostly just fun, it was time to move on to part 2 – Angel’s Landing.  The latter was reached via a somewhat steep path with a long drop on either side for most of the way.  You support yourself by holding on to a chain that’s embedded into the rock to ensure that you don’t lose your footing and pitch yourself off the side.  The Parks department posted warnings on the busses that you take to the start point telling you how risky it is, and believe me, those warnings did nothing to help my comfort level.  

The first part of the climb out of Scout’s Landing isn’t so bad.  Learning where to place your feet and realizing that physically the climb isn’t arduous definitely gave me a boost.  A few minutes later, we reach a vista, and I say to one of the leaders “Oh, are we here?”  Not even close.  He points far ahead, past an extremely narrow section to the top.  I had myself a mini panic attack (Or maybe not so mini).  The path looked so frightening, so dangerous.  I thought there was just no way I’d be able to do it.  Then he suggested I turn back. 

What? Turn back? No way. No f’in way.  Deep breath, and time to go on, even with tears in my eyes.  I decided to just look at the 5 foot area directly in front of me.  It definitely helped that one of the leaders was right behind me cheering me on the entire time.  Again, physically, it was easy.  Another 5 minutes in and I was able to start joking, and a little later we were at the summit.  Relief.  Deep exhale, and let me see where I’ve come from and where I am.  

After enjoying some strawberries and some trail mix, it was time to head back down, which was much easier than the way up.  I was able to be chatty, take in the view, and slow down my heart rate to normal levels.

Learning moment:  Obviously if thousands of tourists climb to Angel’s Landing every year, it’s not that dangerous.  Yes, you shouldn’t do it while drunk, in high winds or rain, but on a normal day, there was nothing preventing me from making the climb easily.  Except my fear.  Like most of my life’s experiences, the biggest obstacle I come up against tends to be that voice in my head that tells my why I can’t do something… it’s too scary, it’s too hard… I’m not strong enough.  With Ironman Mont-Tremblant approaching in a little over three weeks (!) that voice has been getting louder and louder and I’ve been getting more and more fearful about finishing, or at least finishing with dignity.  

So I’ve started taking steps to quell that screaming voice.  For me, having done something once makes me believe I can do it again.  If you ask me to climb Angel’s Landing again, I will.  It wasn’t hard, and now that I know that, I’d actually enjoy doing it while looking around and taking in the view.

Well, due to a pretty bad case of bronchitis, I’ve been doubting that I can do Ironman -  I had to abbreviate workouts for a week (though I did win my AG at the NYRR Sprint Tri), and cancel workouts for another week (including deferring the NYC Triathlon the weekend of my birthday – a real bummer), and could feel my muscles atrophy and my fitness wane.  It was a dark time (I’m saying this somewhat tongue in cheek – may this be as sucky as my life gets – it’s still pretty awesome!), and I was worried that I wasn’t getting my key workouts in before my race.  

But as soon as I got the all clear from the doctor, I was back to it.  At this point I have one 2.4 mile swim in the books, as well as a century ride.  Both were done at an easy pace, in preparation for Ironman.  But they were completed.  I know that I’m capable of swimming 2.4 miles without stopping.  I can ride 100 miles without shredding my quads.  Unfortunately, the run was not quite the same success.

However, based on my times for the first two, I think that even if I slow jog/walk the run, I will easily finish in under the 17 hours.  While originally I was hoping for an under 13 hour time, as the season went on, it was very clear that there was no way that was in the cards.  I simply don’t have the fitness and speed for that kind of time at this point.  (And more to the point, I’ve skipped too many workouts this year.  There’s a reason for all of them, and they build speed as well as endurance – had I kept it honest, and put in all the time I was required to, we’d be having a different conversation… or is this a monologue?)

The ride and the swim – getting those miles into my head more than my body, have gone a long way to reassuring me that I am capable of this.  In a couple of weeks I’ll be volunteering at the TNT aid station 2 miles from the finish line, and cheering on my teammates as they reach their Ironman dreams.  That will hopefully be another puzzle piece in place. 

In the mean time, I’m keeping it smart, but playing with speed and hills on my shorter rides (both fun for me), doing what needs to be done without over doing it.